M.D. Creekmore

There are people out there that say money is the best thing to have. But love is a strong contender when it comes to the most important thing in the world. There is nothing that comes close to that indescribable feeling you have when you are attracted to somebody else.

Having a relationship with the person you love is as good as it can get – or is it? Sometimes, a relationship doesn’t go as planned. Sometimes you find yourself in a relationship with someone you love, but that feeling does not go both ways.

What’s worse, your partner might be in love with -or have feelings for- someone else. A crystal-clear indication of this is when your partner talks about her ex. Is this normal? Is this happening because she can’t move on? Or is it the worst-case scenario? Does your girlfriend still love her ex?

It’s a complicated and complex subject, and one you must dwell on before you figure out how your next move can be the right move.

The first thing you want to find out

Love and relationships are like poetry. They are beautiful, spontaneous and an expression of everything that’s happening inside of you. It’s all sunshine and rainbows. But if your loved one keeps talking about her ex, the weather just got cloudy with a high chance of rain. You have to stop acting like a poet and get into a chess player mindset. Think 2, 3 and even 4 moves ahead.

If your girlfriend has talked to you about her ex, the first thing you have to figure out is how her previous relationship ended. Was it mutual? Well, it never is. You have to find out who broke up with whom and why. If she did it, that’s a good sign. It meant she wanted to move on.

But if he broke up with her, that’s not the end of the world, but it isn’t good either. She might be emotionally stuck in her previous relationship, unable to be involved with you in the present.

Another important thing you want to find out is when did the break up happen. If it was a decade ago, something is wrong. But if it happened a month ago, the wound might be fresh and talking about it might be part of the healing process.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If she talks about her ex a lot, you’ll eventually find your way into what happened. But don’t go looking into her phone without permission or become obnoxious with questions she may not want to answer. Find about it naturally. If she doesn’t want to talk about it how it ended at all, it might be a sign of psychological trauma (a terrible relationship) or a secret (she’s has unresolved issues with her ex).

The important thing is to gather as much information as you can and see what you can make of it. It’s one thing if she’s talking about her ex but she broke up with him. And another if she has a broken heart talking about what great things could’ve happened if her ex didn’t end it all. It’ll give you perspective.

How often does she talk about her ex?

If you are worried because your girlfriend is talking about her ex, you might have already answered the question in your head. But take a step back for a moment and think about the times she talked about her ex. Was it only one time? If it was just that once, then you might have a nothing burger in your hands. Don’t make a big deal out of it.

Everyone – women and men – are bound to talk about their past because it’s the one thing that made them who they are. Especially if you are in a relationship with someone else, you want to confide in your partner, the most important person you know.

If it happens every once in a while, let’s say, once every three months or so, it’s not that big of a deal. Men and women are different, that’s a fact. We behave differently. Men don’t like to talk about their exes unless they are in their close circle of friends.

Women are a little bit more social and don’t see anything wrong with talking about the people she was involved with. If it bothers you when it happens, you might want to talk with her about it so it doesn’t become a problem later on. If it’s a quick comment two or three times per year, you probably have nothing to worry about.

But if your girlfriend is constantly talking about her ex, she might as well want to talk with him, instead of you. If something reminds her of him, it’s one thing. If every single thing is somehow one ticket to the past, you have trouble. An obsession is never healthy and is unhealthy for you as well as it is compromising your relationship.

If she’s talking about her ex all the time, it’s code red and there’s nothing that can change that. The code red status, that is. You might be able to fix this relationship.

How is she talking about him?

If your girlfriend is badmouthing her ex all the time, that’s a good thing, right? Wrong. If she’s doing that, then it is not about her ex anymore. It doesn’t matter if he was the worst guy to ever walk this earth, nobody gets hung up on bad people. If she crossed paths with a terrible person, she should’ve forgotten him and moved on. If she keeps him living in her head rent-free, there’s something wrong with her as well. And more likely than not, the guy wasn’t that bad, but she is making it seem like he was.

If she’s talking about her ex like he’s the best thing since sliced bread, you have it even worse. She’s still in a relationship with him, even though they have broken up. He’s so good you’ll never reach his height and that’s not a relationship you want to be in. But hey, don’t get too fixated on this if it happens once or twice about something in particular.

If you are watching the Olympics with her and her ex was an Olympic swimmer, it’s a topic that it might come up, even favoring her ex. But if every little thing you are doing turns into a comparison contest, then why bother? You are not in a relationship to compete in silly games.

Why do you think she’s doing that? And what’s the real reason?

There are a lot of reasons as to why this is happening. Remember, as you have already read, women are more used to social activities than men. You talk about your ex when you are with your friends, in the middle of a card game or when you are drinking.

That’s it, then it goes back to your little box in forget-me-land. Women don’t work like that. They have no problem talking about their feelings or most aspects of their lives. And that’s okay. But there are compromises to be had in a relationship.

She might be talking about her ex for no other reason than just talking. But that might make you uncomfortable. And that’s something that deserves a little chat between the two.

Another reason she might talk about her ex is that they are friends. This is a double edge sword, honestly. They might be so completely over their previous feelings that they might be able to be friends. You can talk about your friends with your partner with no trouble, right? But the better question is: are you ever over your ex? Or are there feelings beneath the surface?

Friends or not, she might have feelings for him, after all this time. And that’s something that is not okay if she can’t stop thinking about him. The only reason you talk about something or someone all the time is because they are on your mind, all the time. This is, of course, a worst-case scenario.

And finally, the dumbest reason for it all: It might be a test. Your girlfriend might be testing you to see how you react when you are compared to her ex. She wants to see if you can handle the pressure. What you want to do in this scenario depends on how much you love her. I’d laugh my way through the door. But people are different.

What should you NOT do in this scenario?

Whether she still loves him, or if she just likes to talk about her story or if it is a test, there are a couple of things that you should never, ever do when this happens. Or better yet, never, ever do them in a relationship no matter the scenario. You shouldn’t blow up at her because she’s talking about her ex.

This usually happens when you bottle up your feelings until you crack and explode. Even if it’s hard, you need to talk about it. No matter if it bothers you. Tell her you to want to change the subject, in a firm yet gentle way. Don’t try to scream your way out of an uncomfortable subject.

You shouldn’t get mad. Even if you don’t scream at her, don’t let this burn you up inside. Try to laugh at it, don’t give it too much importance. Look, you are either going to solve this issue or you are not. It’s not the end of the world. It might be the end of the relationship if you let your emotions get the best of you before you solve the problem.

Don’t get back at her talking about your exes. This one happens a lot and it’s ridiculous. You are a man, not a child. Act like one. Say what you want, don’t expect it acting out in a passive-aggressive way. When you act this way, you are trying to negatively reinforce bad things in your relationship. It won’t work and it’ll only turn your relationship into a negative one.

What should you do in this scenario?

Now, how can you handle this scenario successfully? The first thing you want to do is wait it out. I know, it sounds dumb. But the best thing to do in this scenario is to breathe and let it pass. As you’ve read, she might be talking about her ex because it’s a fresh breakup. She might think it was a meaningless talk. Wait it out, it might be a one-time thing.

If this happens more than once, then it’s time to sit down and have a talk about it. Explain to her that you don’t want to talk about her past as much as she does. And tell her why. Let her understand you are trying to move forward, you plan for the future, you don’t dwell on the past. If she understands it, you might be able to move forward without much trouble.

If she doesn’t understand why talking about her ex is a bad thing, time to set ground rules. Even though you are in a relationship and theoretically things should be mutual, sometimes they are not. Sometimes she doesn’t like you put blue cheese on your sandwich before you kiss her and sometimes you don’t want to talk about her ex before you go to sleep.

Because, in practice, relationships aren’t always mutual. Most of the time they are built on top of healthy compromises and meeting your partner halfway.

If you waited it out and it kept happening. If you tried to explain why talking constantly about the past is wrong. If you told her you don’t want to talk about it and she still keeps going at it. Then it’s time to leave. Not every relationship is built to last.

And sometimes, walking out is the best thing for both of you – or at least you, that’s who matters in the end. Break things up nicely, like a gentleman, and expect she doesn’t talk too much about you with the next guy.

The dating world is hard. There is no answer when it comes to a single approach that will get you the success you need.

Whether or not you’re the James Bond of the working place, seducing the woman you like at work can be challenging and tricky.

Bring the dating World to your working place and the difficulty increases tenfold. The Social pressures of ensuring appropriate conduct will very often steer people away from thinking about their job as the same source of their romantic life.

For ease of mind, many men will avoid contact with a female coworker that they may actually be attracted to.

Some Companies strongly oppose any type of romantic relationship in their premises with worries of degradation in the working environment along with any possible legal challenges that may arise.

However, as hard and unlikely as it may seem, many lasting relationships are born in a workplace. Consider how many hours people spend together and how well they get to know each other and this makes much more sense than any online dating app or blind date you may embark on.

There are modus operandi, however. You should keep a few appropriate rules in mind when approaching a coworker with a romantic intuit.

Not only because you want to be sure that you’re both on the same page, but you also will wish to avoid any uncomfortable issues that will arise in case you’ve read the signs wrong.

Whatever happens, keep in mind to always keep it classy and respectful. These are key rules not only for the workplace but also for any relationship you may encounter in your life. Respect shows your level of care for others and, at the same time, ensures you have structure and principles.

If you wish to disregard these rules, you’ll most likely fail in your quest and may jeopardize your job completely.

With such, let’s keep an eye of some do’s and don’ts to ensure a successful approach to that girl at work that keeps you thinking about her after hours.

Do’s:

Be Respectful. Respect is the basis of any successful relationship. Approach everyone with the same level of respect and you’ll be respected in return. Women will react positively to a gentleman, so remember to be the man they deserve.

Be supportive. Perhaps you are available to help her out with her job, give her a lift home or stay extra hours to cover for her. Whatever the reason, ensure you’re present and you keep yourself helpful. If you don’t, you’ll send out a message of one that avoids responsibility and surely no woman will bring such quality into their lives freely.

Be funny. Not inappropriate funny, but one that brings a light of sunshine on Monday mornings and doesn’t let the flow of hard work break his spirit. You’ll show resilience as well as proof of being a safe harbor for those days when things go wrong. There is something seductive about humor that tends to break even the coldest and most distant hearts.

Be charming. Compliment her outfit, her good mood, her work. Perhaps her smile if she responds positively to a little gallantry. Keep it smooth at first and work from there. Put yourself on her shoes and figure out what she enjoys the most and how she responds to your positiveness.

Figure out what moves her. Get to know the woman of your dreams, don’t just expect she’ll be whatever you project on her. She’ll have strengths and weaknesses, dreams and nightmares. Empower her by complimenting things she thinks less of about herself or her work. Positive reassurance will grant you a special place in her heart.

Take your time. Relationships are based on time and patience. Rushing will usually end up in bitterness, misunderstanding and most likely no relationship to build on. Get to know her, her tastes, her dislikes and keep being all of the above – respectful, supportive, funny, charming, caring.

Keep it quiet. The worse thing you could do is announce to everyone that you like that girl at work. People will most likely gossip about it and she won’t be happy. If you keep it quiet, as you should, you’ll end up sharing a secret between the two – and women tend to love secrets. If you absolutely must tell someone at work, do it only with people that are very close to you and wouldn’t tell a soul.

Be confident. You can do this. Just don’t be cocky, instead, show that you are sure of who you are and what you want from life. You give enough space to others and respect them, but you are the owner of your own destiny. And always keep in mind that women are attracted to men that can project confidence.

Don’t:

Be vulgar. Women don’t respond well to vulgar remarks, chauvinism or remarks that minimize their role whether personal or social as a whole. Vulgar men may attract women but not the kind that will be there for them until the end. If you detect any of those traces in you, start by working on yourself and eliminating that aspect before approaching the woman you like.

Make inappropriate jokes. Not only some jokes are not well seen in the workplace, but they will also more likely to do more harm than good. Jokes that are too sexual, minimize women or attack a woman’s self-esteem are halfway there to ending up bitter – and alone.

Want too much too fast. Take your time. If you rush into things you most likely won’t have the results you expect. You may come across as too much or as wanting only an adventure instead of a lasting relationship. Whatever your motivations, let time be your best advisor. Leave time and space for seduction and enjoy it.

Gossip about your feelings or the person you like. Gossip is like rust. It will eventually break anything you built. If you really are into someone, keep her a well-kept secret. Perhaps you can share your feelings with a friend or two, but don’t let the entire office know that you like her.

With this in mind, you may start to build the beginning of a relationship with that cute girl you like at work.

Perhaps she noticed you already and started smiling back. You’ve crossed each other at the corridor and she made that shy eye contact. Wherever it goes, it’s important to keep a steady mind and not ruin it at this point.

If she’s already into you even if a tiny bit, you’ve got a chance.

Keep finding the time and occasion to say hello, look deep into her eyes and smile – but avoid looking creepy – in a natural, respectful way.

You’ll soon notice that all the looking and smiling will naturally tend to develop into a small conversation.

Take this opportunity to talk about meaningful things instead of the weather, the stock market or work-related subjects. Ask her how her weekend was, what she likes to do in her free time, what food she likes and what she’ll do later – but leave this open for a while to make her wonder about your intentions.

Once a couple of occasions have gone by where you both found yourselves looking at the clock and loosing the notion of time after a small conversation, it’s time to consider asking her more pertinent personal questions slowly.

That will allow you to actually get to know this woman a little more into detail. Is she seeing someone? What’s her schedule like on weekends? What does she like and dislike?

Gradually elevate the number of pertinent subjects that will get you in her favor. Figuring out a lot about her at this point will mean that you’ll get it right when you first take her out for dinner and get her that favorite food she told you about weeks ago – and probably won’t remember. She’ll be impressed, you’ll make yourself look good and maybe, just maybe, will end up winning her heart.

Like it was duly noted, always keep in mind what’s appropriate and what’s not when seducing a female coworker. If you spend too much time with her at work, you’ll raise unnecessary attention from others and give way to gossip. If you find excuses at work to see her more, such as asking for her help with something, you may pass undetected for some time.

Either way, always keep in mind what the policy of your workplace is regarding relationships at work.

When you reach the point where you’re – struggling to – keep it to yourself and she approaches you in a friendly and open way and it’s obvious there is an attraction, find the opportunity to ask her out. Don’t make a big deal out of it and be confident.

Ask her what she’s doing after work or next weekend and invite her for a coffee or some lunch with some friends/coworkers and invite her over, that way you both can spend some time together in a relaxed and non-working environment, surrounded by people that you both know. That projects a safe environment to ensure you both have your guard down.

This will give you a unique opportunity to approach her without the social barriers of your workplace and get to know more about her.

Perhaps you all have a drink over lunch to get the guard down and get rid of any leftover inhibitions.

Either way, don’t overdo it. Keep it safe and friendly but keep your focus on her and your interest for her things.

Women will very often realize that you’re really into them by showing interest, spending time and giving them our undivided and caring attention.

Leave it there and if necessary offer to give her a ride home or walk her to her car. That priceless alone time between both of you may, if things go well, be remembered as the moment where it really started. Remember the list of “do’s” and keep going through it.

Respectfully thank her for coming, compliment her again and say goodbye. There is nothing more seductive than leaving room for the other person to wonder.

You’ll probably want to spend as much time as you can with her, but do your best to avoid overdoing it. Give her enough time to breathe and think about that lunch and the conversations you both had.

If after this step she’s still – or more, hopefully – into you, you’ll notice she will grant you her undivided attention.

Your seduction techniques may have worked charms and your female coworker is now crossing that boundary where things may step up to romance.

You’re in the zone now and at this stage, things can go wrong very fast if you cave, so remember to keep your focus, your charms and everything will be alright.

If you’ve managed to see her outside work even if for a social event, it’s acceptable at this point that you can casually ask for her number and give her a call sometime to go out again.

If she has no objection, you’ve played your cards well. Should she pause or think about it for more than a couple of seconds, don’t repeat the question and go back to your first couple of steps again. Some women make men work hard for their affection, but that shouldn’t put you off. Remember, you got this!

Should however she share those magical numbers with you, casually ask when she’s free to go out, even if you know tomorrow is Saturday and she has no plans. This will put the onus on her to choose whenever she wants to go out with you.

Tell her about some nice place you know without going too much into detail, as women love surprises and a man that has the ability to sweep them off their feet. If you’re lucky, she’ll say yes for a certain day of her preference instead of throwing it into an uncertain future.

Take her out and remember the list of do’s should actually be a list for every day of your life, along with the list of don’ts.

You won’t need to overdo it, but any information you gathered initially will be crucial at this point. She’ll be impressed that you remember her favorite dish – and you chose this place because they do the best ever – or that wine from abroad she told you about. Anything else is entirely up to you being yourself and charm her, make her feel safe and acknowledged. Be romantic if you will, but don’t overdo it. Above all, listen to her and what she’s got to say.

Whatever may be of you two, ensure you keep your relationship safe from your workplace by not getting too much detail shared with other coworkers or your bosses. Your private life is exactly that, and it’s a great achievement that you both decided to share it. Go on, be happy!

After a break up it might seem like it’s the end of the world. You might be depressed, you might feel useless and like you’re a failure and that’s normal after a break-up after a long-term relationship has ended.

But you will survive… and you can turn the break-up and the fact that you’re now single into a positive thing and a driver of increased motivation to improve every aspect of your life.

While both have some similarities in this article we will be looking at it from the perspective of a break-up after dating relationship where you have been dating for several months or even years, but not from the perspective of a divorce.

While both can wreck a guy’s life emotionally divorce opens up a whole slew of other legal issues like property ownership issues, alimony, child support, parenting rights, and other nightmares. That’s a whole other article altogether and one I’ll cover here in the near future.

With that said this article is going to cover a break-up and the resulting struggle of being single from the “my girlfriend got sick of me being too clingy” or the “my girlfriend got bored and dumped me for my best friend” point of view.

As they say, time heals and that’s true… however, that offers little comfort right after a break-up. You want and need some positive steps to help you to feel better now and that will speed up the healing process. Let’s get started.

Don’t Turn Into an Alcoholic

After a break-up, lots of guys turn to alcohol and drink excessively in an attempt to “drink their pain away”… don’t do it. Getting drunk and attempting to stay that way until the pain goes away isn’t going to fix the hurt you’re feeling after a breakup.

All excessive drinking will accomplish is you having a hangover and an empty wallet the next day and you’ll probably end up calling her while your drunk crying and begging her to please work things out with you… which will only make you look like a desperate chump and lower her attraction for you even further.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

Another thing that guys often do after a breakup is that they will isolate themselves from the world. Don’t do it. Turn off the TV or the video game and go outside. Go hang out with friends. Go visit family. Take a road trip. Do something… anything but isolation.

By getting out and being social you’ll get your mind off of the breakup, have some fun and possibly meet someone new.

Don’t Become an Online Stalker (or Worse)

Another thing that a lot of guys do after a breakup is they become online stalkers. They will constantly check their exes Facebook page, and that of everyone she knows and hangs out with hoping to see a new photo of her or an update of some kind so that they can see what she is doing and who she is doing it with.

This isn’t any help to you at all and if you keep doing this you’ll never heal and be able to move on. Stop it! Get off social media, stop being a stalker and re-read the advice above again… don’t isolate yourself and don’t be a stalker.

Avoid Emotionally Beating Yourself Up

You’ve heard it before… don’t beat yourself up! And it’s true. If the breakup was your fault then you should give her a sincere apology and tell her that you know you messed up, that you made a huge mistake, tell her how sorry you are… once!

Don’t keep apologizing. We all make mistakes. Stop beating yourself up about it. What’s done has been done and you can’t change it. Apologize once and that’s it. She will either accept it or not.

You can beat yourself up about it as much as you want and it won’t help or change the fact in any way… all beating yourself up will do is to make it more difficult to move on with your life. Consider it a learning experience.  Now you know and can avoid making that same mistake in your next relationship.

Get On Your Purpose

One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to get on your purpose.  What do I mean… by “get on your purpose”… you should have a purpose in life and no matter what you should never waver on your purpose.

Your purpose is whatever is most important to you… it could be your job, your business, martial arts, charity work… your purpose can be anything that is important to you and that benefits your life in a positive way. That’s your purpose.

Double down on that purpose. Focus on it, live it own it and soon the breakup will be a fading memory.

Improve How You Look and Feel

After a breakup, most guys will feel down and as I said above will be beating themselves up. One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to improve how you look. It will help you to get your confidence back and to move on with your life.

Get a new haircut or hairstyle, buy some new clothes, maybe some new shoes, or a new watch (check this one out at Amazon.com). If you’ve not been working out then start. Lose a few pounds if you need to.

By taking care of your looks and improving in that area you’ll feel better about yourself which will make moving on that much easier.

How do I Enjoy Being a Single Man

While it might now seem like it at first… there are some positives (a lot actually) to being single. Think about it… single guys have more freedom to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. And no more nagging that’s huge plus right there.

Single guys (who are on their purpose) have more money, because, well having a girlfriend is expensive.

And let’s not forget about strange… if you don’t have a girlfriend watching you all of the time you’ll be able to sleep (as in have sex) with that hot girl who works at the corner store or wherever and not feel guilty about it.

After a breakup, you’ll be a free man… a free man with a wallet full of cash, relaxed nerves, and smelling like strange… you like strange right? Of course, you do.

If you look at all of the positives then you might be happy being single for the rest of your life!

Never Invest Too Much in a Woman

I agree with this guy 100 percent! Watch this video several times it’s that important!

It’s one of the most aggravating things that guys have to deal with when dating women and that’s flakey women… women who are a no show for dates that they agree to go on. Most of the time they will call or text last minute and give you some lame excuse about how their dog was constipated and so they can’t meet you, and worse some won’t even contact you at and instead just not show up.

And then there are the ones who you have been dating for a few weeks that will suddenly stand you up last minute. These can hurt the worst and cause the most aggravation because you have already put in time and effort and you thought things were going in the right direction and then all of a sudden she cancels your date last-minute.

How you handle the situation will depend on if it’s a first dates flake or a woman you’ve already been dating because each requires a slightly different approach. Let’s look at the first date flake first.

What To do If She Flakes on a First Date

You meet a woman and things seem to be going well. You’ve met, you got her number and you’ve talked and texted back and forth a few times and you’ve set up a date. You get ready and go to pick her up or to meet her at the agreed-upon date location and she is a no show.

No text, no call to tell you what happen last minute, no excuse, no nothing at all. This is one of the most disrespectful things that a woman can do to a guy (besides cheating) it shows that she has no respect for you at all and also shows her lack of character.

Very few things could happen that would warrant her standing you up like this… maybe, a car crash heading to the date location, maybe a sudden medical emergency where she has to be rushed in for medical care… other that than there isn’t any legitimate excuse she can give you for why she flaked last-minute and couldn’t even call or text to let you know.

Now, most guys would either call her up and tell her what a bitch she or beg for another date. You should do neither.

In this situation, you shouldn’t do anything… nothing. Don’t call her, don’t text her, don’t do anything! Let it go and move one. Don’t give her the validation of knowing she upset you or that you were disappointed that she didn’t show up.

If you don’t contact her she will be wondering, whether or not you might have stood her up too and will probably contact you in a few days with some lame excuse. Ignore her. She doesn’t deserve a response. Move on with your life. If she keeps trying to contact you block her number.

She isn’t worth the effort and most likely would stand you up again if you accepted her excuse and set up a second date. Don’t give her the satisfaction. There are far too many other women out there for you who will show you more respect… don’t give women who flake on dates like that another chance.

If She Flakes on a First Date (but gives an excuse)

Another situation is when she flakes last-minute but calls or texts you with an excuse. This could be some lame excuse like someone showed up at her house as she was heading out her door to go meet you, or was called into work or something. Or, she might give you a legitimate excuse of some type… the excuse/reason doesn’t matter all that much your response is the same.

When she contacts you to tell you why she can’t make it don’t act mad, hurt or aggravated.

Simply say something like “Okay, I can understand that. Things happen. No big deal. You have my number… contact me when you get it all worked out and you want to talk”. And then you never contact her again.

If and when she contacts you again you should be nice and ask her when would she is able to meet you somewhere to talk. If she won’t set a time and date to meet then tell her you to have some stuff to do and get off the phone and don’t talk to her again.

She is playing games and seeking validation (that you want her) while never giving you anything. Cut the conversation off. Don’t talk to her anymore. Block her number if she keeps contacting you.

Do the same thing is she sets a time and date to meet and flakes again. Don’t get pissed and contact her to tell her what a bitch she or whatever. She doesn’t care that you’re pissed if she did then she would have shown up. By you showing her that you’re mad and all butt-hurt you’re giving her more validation and an ego boost.

The best move is to do nothing. Don’t call her, don’t text her. Don’t do anything but move on with your life. She isn’t worth you getting upset and raising your blood pressure. You can do better and you deserve better.

If You’ve Been Dating For Awhile and She Flakes on a Date

Okay, another situation is one where you’ve been seeing her for a few weeks and things seemed to be going good and you’re starting to get attached and you’re thinking that she could be “the one” you set up a nice romantic date for the two of you and she cancels last minute.

Now, what you do here will depend a lot on the situation. If she contacts you at the last minute and has a legitimate excuse like for example… her car broke down or there was a medical issue of her own or of a close family member for example then you would offer your help.

Ask if there is anything that you can do? And do it if she needs you and you can help. After all, you have been seeing her for a few weeks or maybe months and it’s not like it’s the first date with her and she does have a legitimate excuse. The important thing here is to not act mad or disappointed.

However, if she offers you some lame excuse like her friend started her period and she is going to spend some time with her for emotional support or some other bullcrap. Then you should still stay calm and don’t show her you’re mad or anything.

You should simply say, something like “okay, that’s cool. Take care of your friend, (or whatever is an appropriate response to her excuse) contact me when you get it all worked out.” And then as before you never contact her again. Let her contact you if she wants but after this, you should never contact her first.

When she contacts you again (and she probably will) you should invite her to your house, don’t set up any dates or spend any more money on her until she makes up for flaking on your previous date. You don’t want to be making reservations, getting tickets or making other plans when she might not show and or offer you some lame last-minute excuse as to why she can’t make it.

Don’t go out of your way… make her come to you… make her come to your house and tell her to pick up some food on her way…

Why Women Stand Guys Up… A Few Reasons

At this point, you’re probably asking why a woman you’re been dating for several weeks or months stand you up for a date and offer you some lame excuse… and that’s a good question and one that has several answers…

The most common reason is that she is losing interest in you. Perhaps, you’ve been pushing towards a relationship and things are going fast for her and she is having second thoughts and pulling back. In this situation, the BEST thing that you can do is to pull-back also.

Remember, when she starts to pull-back from you… you should pull-back from her also and let her come to you. Do not chase!

Or perhaps, you have been being too clingy and acting all in love and like a beta male. You’re constantly, calling, texting, or in her face and she feels smothered needs some time away from you. Sure in a perfect world she would just tell you that instead of making up lame excuses but most won’t.

Another reason is that she may have found someone else and is trying to piss you off by flaking… she wants to make you made enough that you will break up with her so she can go be with this other guy. Unfortunately, there isn’t a sure way to know at this point so your actions should be that same as what I told you above.

Another reason that she might do stand you up with a lame excuse might me that she is testing you. She is testing you to see if you’re going to get all pissed and act like a screaming cursing lunatic.

Women have to be careful because there is always the possibility that a guy could be a violent lunatic and they will sometimes test you. If you fail the test by acting like a crazy person then you’re done. Most women don’t want to be in a controlling, abusive relationship and this is one of the early tests women will commonly do to see your reaction.

(The book Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction by Christopher Canwell is THE BEST available to help you get what you want from a relationship and dating in general). 

Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction on Amazon.com