Relationships and Dating

Reading Time: 4 minutes

After a break up it might seem like it’s the end of the world. You might be depressed, you might feel useless and like you’re a failure and that’s normal after a break-up after a long-term relationship has ended.

But you will survive… and you can turn the break-up and the fact that you’re now single into a positive thing and a driver of increased motivation to improve every aspect of your life.

While both have some similarities in this article we will be looking at it from the perspective of a break-up after dating relationship where you have been dating for several months or even years, but not from the perspective of a divorce.

While both can wreck a guy’s life emotionally divorce opens up a whole slew of other legal issues like property ownership issues, alimony, child support, parenting rights, and other nightmares. That’s a whole other article altogether and one I’ll cover here in the near future.

With that said this article is going to cover a break-up and the resulting struggle of being single from the “my girlfriend got sick of me being too clingy” or the “my girlfriend got bored and dumped me for my best friend” point of view.

As they say, time heals and that’s true… however, that offers little comfort right after a break-up. You want and need some positive steps to help you to feel better now and that will speed up the healing process. Let’s get started.

Don’t Turn Into an Alcoholic

After a break-up, lots of guys turn to alcohol and drink excessively in an attempt to “drink their pain away”… don’t do it. Getting drunk and attempting to stay that way until the pain goes away isn’t going to fix the hurt you’re feeling after a breakup.

All excessive drinking will accomplish is you having a hangover and an empty wallet the next day and you’ll probably end up calling her while your drunk crying and begging her to please work things out with you… which will only make you look like a desperate chump and lower her attraction for you even further.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

Another thing that guys often do after a breakup is that they will isolate themselves from the world. Don’t do it. Turn off the TV or the video game and go outside. Go hang out with friends. Go visit family. Take a road trip. Do something… anything but isolation.

By getting out and being social you’ll get your mind off of the breakup, have some fun and possibly meet someone new.

Don’t Become an Online Stalker (or Worse)

Another thing that a lot of guys do after a breakup is they become online stalkers. They will constantly check their exes Facebook page, and that of everyone she knows and hangs out with hoping to see a new photo of her or an update of some kind so that they can see what she is doing and who she is doing it with.

This isn’t any help to you at all and if you keep doing this you’ll never heal and be able to move on. Stop it! Get off social media, stop being a stalker and re-read the advice above again… don’t isolate yourself and don’t be a stalker.

Avoid Emotionally Beating Yourself Up

You’ve heard it before… don’t beat yourself up! And it’s true. If the breakup was your fault then you should give her a sincere apology and tell her that you know you messed up, that you made a huge mistake, tell her how sorry you are… once!

Don’t keep apologizing. We all make mistakes. Stop beating yourself up about it. What’s done has been done and you can’t change it. Apologize once and that’s it. She will either accept it or not.

You can beat yourself up about it as much as you want and it won’t help or change the fact in any way… all beating yourself up will do is to make it more difficult to move on with your life. Consider it a learning experience.  Now you know and can avoid making that same mistake in your next relationship.

Get On Your Purpose

One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to get on your purpose.  What do I mean… by “get on your purpose”… you should have a purpose in life and no matter what you should never waver on your purpose.

Your purpose is whatever is most important to you… it could be your job, your business, martial arts, charity work… your purpose can be anything that is important to you and that benefits your life in a positive way. That’s your purpose.

Double down on that purpose. Focus on it, live it own it and soon the breakup will be a fading memory.

Improve How You Look and Feel

After a breakup, most guys will feel down and as I said above will be beating themselves up. One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to improve how you look. It will help you to get your confidence back and to move on with your life.

Get a new haircut or hairstyle, buy some new clothes, maybe some new shoes, or a new watch (check this one out at Amazon.com). If you’ve not been working out then start. Lose a few pounds if you need to.

By taking care of your looks and improving in that area you’ll feel better about yourself which will make moving on that much easier.

How do I Enjoy Being a Single Man

While it might now seem like it at first… there are some positives (a lot actually) to being single. Think about it… single guys have more freedom to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. And no more nagging that’s huge plus right there.

Single guys (who are on their purpose) have more money, because, well having a girlfriend is expensive.

And let’s not forget about strange… if you don’t have a girlfriend watching you all of the time you’ll be able to sleep (as in have sex) with that hot girl who works at the corner store or wherever and not feel guilty about it.

After a breakup, you’ll be a free man… a free man with a wallet full of cash, relaxed nerves, and smelling like strange… you like strange right? Of course, you do.

If you look at all of the positives then you might be happy being single for the rest of your life!

Never Invest Too Much in a Woman

I agree with this guy 100 percent! Watch this video several times it’s that important!

Reading Time: 6 minutes

It’s one of the most aggravating things that guys have to deal with when dating women and that’s flakey women… women who are a no show for dates that they agree to go on. Most of the time they will call or text last minute and give you some lame excuse about how their dog was constipated and so they can’t meet you, and worse some won’t even contact you at and instead just not show up.

And then there are the ones who you have been dating for a few weeks that will suddenly stand you up last minute. These can hurt the worst and cause the most aggravation because you have already put in time and effort and you thought things were going in the right direction and then all of a sudden she cancels your date last-minute.

How you handle the situation will depend on if it’s a first dates flake or a woman you’ve already been dating because each requires a slightly different approach. Let’s look at the first date flake first.

What To do If She Flakes on a First Date

You meet a woman and things seem to be going well. You’ve met, you got her number and you’ve talked and texted back and forth a few times and you’ve set up a date. You get ready and go to pick her up or to meet her at the agreed-upon date location and she is a no show.

No text, no call to tell you what happen last minute, no excuse, no nothing at all. This is one of the most disrespectful things that a woman can do to a guy (besides cheating) it shows that she has no respect for you at all and also shows her lack of character.

Very few things could happen that would warrant her standing you up like this… maybe, a car crash heading to the date location, maybe a sudden medical emergency where she has to be rushed in for medical care… other that than there isn’t any legitimate excuse she can give you for why she flaked last-minute and couldn’t even call or text to let you know.

Now, most guys would either call her up and tell her what a bitch she or beg for another date. You should do neither.

In this situation, you shouldn’t do anything… nothing. Don’t call her, don’t text her, don’t do anything! Let it go and move one. Don’t give her the validation of knowing she upset you or that you were disappointed that she didn’t show up.

If you don’t contact her she will be wondering, whether or not you might have stood her up too and will probably contact you in a few days with some lame excuse. Ignore her. She doesn’t deserve a response. Move on with your life. If she keeps trying to contact you block her number.

She isn’t worth the effort and most likely would stand you up again if you accepted her excuse and set up a second date. Don’t give her the satisfaction. There are far too many other women out there for you who will show you more respect… don’t give women who flake on dates like that another chance.

If She Flakes on a First Date (but gives an excuse)

Another situation is when she flakes last-minute but calls or texts you with an excuse. This could be some lame excuse like someone showed up at her house as she was heading out her door to go meet you, or was called into work or something. Or, she might give you a legitimate excuse of some type… the excuse/reason doesn’t matter all that much your response is the same.

When she contacts you to tell you why she can’t make it don’t act mad, hurt or aggravated.

Simply say something like “Okay, I can understand that. Things happen. No big deal. You have my number… contact me when you get it all worked out and you want to talk”. And then you never contact her again.

If and when she contacts you again you should be nice and ask her when would she is able to meet you somewhere to talk. If she won’t set a time and date to meet then tell her you to have some stuff to do and get off the phone and don’t talk to her again.

She is playing games and seeking validation (that you want her) while never giving you anything. Cut the conversation off. Don’t talk to her anymore. Block her number if she keeps contacting you.

Do the same thing is she sets a time and date to meet and flakes again. Don’t get pissed and contact her to tell her what a bitch she or whatever. She doesn’t care that you’re pissed if she did then she would have shown up. By you showing her that you’re mad and all butt-hurt you’re giving her more validation and an ego boost.

The best move is to do nothing. Don’t call her, don’t text her. Don’t do anything but move on with your life. She isn’t worth you getting upset and raising your blood pressure. You can do better and you deserve better.

If You’ve Been Dating For Awhile and She Flakes on a Date

Okay, another situation is one where you’ve been seeing her for a few weeks and things seemed to be going good and you’re starting to get attached and you’re thinking that she could be “the one” you set up a nice romantic date for the two of you and she cancels last minute.

Now, what you do here will depend a lot on the situation. If she contacts you at the last minute and has a legitimate excuse like for example… her car broke down or there was a medical issue of her own or of a close family member for example then you would offer your help.

Ask if there is anything that you can do? And do it if she needs you and you can help. After all, you have been seeing her for a few weeks or maybe months and it’s not like it’s the first date with her and she does have a legitimate excuse. The important thing here is to not act mad or disappointed.

However, if she offers you some lame excuse like her friend started her period and she is going to spend some time with her for emotional support or some other bullcrap. Then you should still stay calm and don’t show her you’re mad or anything.

You should simply say, something like “okay, that’s cool. Take care of your friend, (or whatever is an appropriate response to her excuse) contact me when you get it all worked out.” And then as before you never contact her again. Let her contact you if she wants but after this, you should never contact her first.

When she contacts you again (and she probably will) you should invite her to your house, don’t set up any dates or spend any more money on her until she makes up for flaking on your previous date. You don’t want to be making reservations, getting tickets or making other plans when she might not show and or offer you some lame last-minute excuse as to why she can’t make it.

Don’t go out of your way… make her come to you… make her come to your house and tell her to pick up some food on her way…

Why Women Stand Guys Up… A Few Reasons

At this point, you’re probably asking why a woman you’re been dating for several weeks or months stand you up for a date and offer you some lame excuse… and that’s a good question and one that has several answers…

The most common reason is that she is losing interest in you. Perhaps, you’ve been pushing towards a relationship and things are going fast for her and she is having second thoughts and pulling back. In this situation, the BEST thing that you can do is to pull-back also.

Remember, when she starts to pull-back from you… you should pull-back from her also and let her come to you. Do not chase!

Or perhaps, you have been being too clingy and acting all in love and like a beta male. You’re constantly, calling, texting, or in her face and she feels smothered needs some time away from you. Sure in a perfect world she would just tell you that instead of making up lame excuses but most won’t.

Another reason is that she may have found someone else and is trying to piss you off by flaking… she wants to make you made enough that you will break up with her so she can go be with this other guy. Unfortunately, there isn’t a sure way to know at this point so your actions should be that same as what I told you above.

Another reason that she might do stand you up with a lame excuse might me that she is testing you. She is testing you to see if you’re going to get all pissed and act like a screaming cursing lunatic.

Women have to be careful because there is always the possibility that a guy could be a violent lunatic and they will sometimes test you. If you fail the test by acting like a crazy person then you’re done. Most women don’t want to be in a controlling, abusive relationship and this is one of the early tests women will commonly do to see your reaction.

(The book Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction by Christopher Canwell is THE BEST available to help you get what you want from a relationship and dating in general). 

Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction on Amazon.com

Reading Time: 8 minutes

Where is the best place to meet women… most guys would say a bar or night club, but they would be wrong! The number one best place to meet women is at a grocery store or supermarket. Why you ask, well because every woman has to go to both often giving you the chance to meet and talk to them in a safe relaxed atmosphere.

It’s really simple…

First, you get eye contact and hopefully a smile, you go up and start a conversation about something in the store or ask a question about something in the store, talk for a few minutes to gauge her interest, and ask her for her number.

Let me explain by elaborating on each and by giving you some awesome bonus tips on how to pick up a woman at a grocery store or supermarket… You like step-by-step details and action plans right… of course, you do. Now let’s get started.

How You Dress is Important

Anytime that you leave your house you should always look the absolute best that you possibly can. You don’t want to go out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed. You want to look your best but not like you put a lot of effort into it.

The first thing is to be clean. Take a shower, shave, cut your nails, put on deodorant. See I told you it was simple… however, you’re not ready yet… nope you need to put on some clothes and a couple of accessories…

When it comes to choosing what clothes to were when trying to attract women at a grocery store it’s best to keep it casual after all you’re supposed to be there to get your groceries and that’s how you should dress. You should also keep the type of woman that you want to attract in mind as you put together what you’re going to wear.

To put it into a visual perspective you want to dress more like Hank Moody in the show Californication and not like this dude who thinks that looking like a douchebag pimp (what he calls peacocking) is the way to attract women… it’s not.

Dress Like Hank Moody Guide

If you want to actually dress like Hank Moody, it’s not a bad idea, I’ve put together a shortlist of clothing, shoes, and accessories that’s very similar to what he wore in the Californication TV series.

• The sunglasses – Ray-Ban Men’s Aviator Sunglasses
• The Ring… loved the ring – Sterling Silver Men’s Spinner Ring, this isn’t an exact match but close enough…
• The Bracelets – Hank Moody Californication Origin Leather Bracelets… 
• The Black T-shirt – Hanes Men’s Nano Premium Cotton…
• Button-down shirt – Button-Down Shirt…
• The Jeans – Levi’s Men’s 501 Original Fit Jean
• The Leather Jacket – Hank Moody Men Leather Jacket…
• Boots – Timberland Men’s Larchmont Chelsea Leather Boots…
• Sneakers – PUMA Select Men’s Suede Classic Plus Sneakers

Scoping

The first step is what I call scoping. Scoping put simply is looking for eye contact…  Do this the right way and you will know when a woman is interested in you but do it the wrong way and you’ll come off looking like a creep.

I know that you want to think that every woman is attracted to you and wants you. But the fact of the matter is not all women are interested in you. That’s where scoping comes in, scoping will allow you to know (with confidence) in seconds if a woman is attracted to you and open to your approach.

When walking through the supermarket be scanning for eye contact… aka scoping. Do this in a natural kinda way and don’t be creepy about it. If you pass by a woman who you find attractive then look at her face and into her eyes if she looks back and holds eye contact with you for a few seconds give her a little smile (not a big goofy smile).

If she smiles back then that’s a great sign of attraction and approachability… maybe… or she could just be being friendly. I can instinctively tell when a woman is attracted to me with the first eye contact, I can see it in their facial expressions and body language.  I can also tell when a woman isn’t interested.

But if you can’t then you can always confirm by getting second eye contact from her. To confirm her interest you simply look away after a few seconds into the first eye contact and then you look back with a smile… if she reciprocates then you’re golden!

Walk up or stop whatever you’re doing at that instant and talk to her. Don’t be shy, start talking right then because if you don’t and just pass her by she will think you’re not interested or just wasn’t man enough to stop and speak to her. Your lack of confidence will be obvious to her and will lower her attraction.

How To Start A Conversation

Forget about cheesy pickup links and other non-sense. Forget about all of the crap you’ve read in all of those books about how to pick up a woman. Forget patterning, and other tricks and gimmicks taught by the so-called “pickup artists”.

A man and a woman meeting, talking and getting to know each other is a natural process and there isn’t any need to overthink or complicate it.

It doesn’t matter much what you say, the important thing is to say something. With that said, you shouldn’t just go up and ask for her number, while that could work sometimes if her attraction is very high and she is really horny, but most of the time it won’t work and opens you up for rejection.

And yes, you might still get rejected even after confirming her attraction through eye contact. She might be attracted to you but not interested in getting to know you because she might have a boyfriend, she could be married, or any number of other reasons that have nothing to do with you.

And at this point, she doesn’t know anything about you other than the fact that you are good at holding eye contact so how would she know enough about you to want to give you her phone number?

You’re going to have to talk to her, talking to her in a normal conversation will give her time to get more comfortable with you… and who knows after you talk to her a few minutes you might realize that she isn’t your type and decide to move along and find someone more suited to your liking. Look at this step as the qualifier for you as well as for her.

But how do you start a conversation with a complete stranger that you just saw and made eye contact with at the grocery store? Well, the best way (and safest) is simply to say something spontaneous and relevant to the situation.

Since you’re both at the supermarket it’s easy to start a conversation about something inside the market for example if it’s really crowded you could say something like… wow, if I knew it was going to be this crowded today I’d waited to later to stop… what time do you think the best to shop here?

Or you could ask for her advice on choosing the best canned soup or something else… for example… hold up a couple of cans and say, I’m trying to decide on which one of these brands to buy… have you tried either?

What you say doesn’t have to be witty, and no need to over complicate it… remember have a normal conversation. No tricks, no gimmicks, no manipulation, just two adults meeting at a grocery store.

Okay, now you might have noticed that both of the examples above asked a question and that’s on purpose. You want to ask a question to see how she responds. If she responds in a nice manner with a smile and seems like she wants to keep talking to you then you’re good to go… keep the conversation going by simply springboarding off your original question and her answer and then shift the conversation to other topics as appropriate.

When talking to a woman it’s best to say little about yourself unless she asks, instead try to keep the conversation about her as much as possible. Ask her questions like… what do you like to do for fun when you’re not shopping at the XYZ store? Those shores look great on you… my sister’s birthday is coming up and I’d get her a pair just like them… where did you get those at?

At this point, you should be able to tell without any doubt whether or not she is interested in you by instinct. However, here are a few signs to look for if you’re still not sure…

Is she still making and holding eye contact with you as you talk? Of course, there will be periods of breaking eye contact during the conversation, this is normal, but if she is catching and holding eye contact a little more than normal then that’s a great sign.

Does she play with her hair? Women do this instinctively when talking to a man they are interested in because she is trying to look her best when talking to you and wants to make sure her hair is looking as perfect as it can in that situation.

Does she ask you questions? If she is interested then she would want to know more about you and the best way for her to do that is to ask you questions about yourself.  She wants to know more about you and that’s great!

Does she touch you during the conversation? Now, this is something that a lot of women won’t do even when they are really interested in you. Touching a man she has just met during a conversation could be seen as being forward or sexually aggressive and most won’t do this… however… if she does then you are likely only hours away from getting laid if that’s what you’re looking for.

Okay, now that you know a few of the most common signs that she is interested let’s look at a few common indicators that she isn’t interested in you. Does she look past you or keep looking away in the other direction? If so then that a good indication that she is not interested and is looking for a way to exit (escape) the conversation.

Does she give short answers when you ask a question? Yes, and no one-word answers to questions that need or could be elaborated on isn’t a good sign. But then she could just be shy so pay attention to other indicators.

Does she bring her boyfriend or husband up during the conversation even though you didn’t ask? If so then she is wanting to let you know that she is already taken and not interested in you at this time.

Getting Her Number

You want to talk to her for five or ten minutes before asking for her number. You want to keep it short because you want to look like you have a busy life full of purpose (and you should have), and a man with a full life isn’t going to be able to stand in the store and talk for two hours. Also, by keeping it short you lower your chances of saying something stupid.

To ask for her number you simply say; I’ve enjoyed talking with you but I’ve got to go (meet someone, go to work, whatever), give me your number and we’ll get together sometime and talk more. When she gives you her number you add it to your contacts right there and say; okay, got it! I’ll go ahead and send you a text that way you have my number too and you send her a text like hello, here’s my number.   Then you go on and finish your shopping and exit the store.

Ninja Tip

Don’t start texting her before you leave the parking lot! Doing that will make you look desperate. You want to wait a couple of days. If her interest is really high she will text or call you! If she hasn’t then after waiting for two or three days you can text or call her. By waiting for a little while you’ll increase her interest because she will be wondering if you’re going to call and will be more excited and open to going out when you do.

Reading Time: 8 minutes

These days the dating world is like a minefield, there are unwritten rules and secret forms of etiquette, there are things you should do and things you should not; nowadays, even messaging a girl can seem like a puzzle, where you are filled with questions, hesitations, and a constant fear of messing up the situation, doing the wrong thing, or just generally not understanding the signals, and this is made all the worse when a girl who you get along well with, or shows an apparent interest in you, suddenly pulls back on the frequency of her replies or stops replying altogether.

However, help is at hand, we understand how difficult it can be to know what to do when you are faced with this type of situation, so we have assembled a little guide in order to help you know what to do next, and give you a better chance of success.

To begin, let’s look at what to do when a girl goes from regular messages to you, to just a few a week, or even a month. When this happens it can feel so frustrating, you immediately have a hundred questions going round in your head, perhaps you are wondering if you did something wrong, said something offensive, or maybe she is playing a game.

Well, first things first, don’t overthink it, second-guessing why her replies have dwindled will be of no benefit to you, if anything you could end up creating a scenario in your head, having a bad reaction, and killing any hopes of ever speaking to her again, before you even found out the true reason. So, take a breath, don’t panic and put into practice the following steps.

Give Her Space

The main thing you should do when a girl starts to back away is to let her; give her space, allow her to be as distant as she wants. If she wants to take time to herself, to think about how she feels, or to explore other options then so be it. You will be surprised at how effective it can be to let a girl drift away because she will usually be back faster than you would ever have guessed.

Having a girl message you less is never a reason for you to worry, you see, men and women are just different, and it is important for you to remind yourself of this before you start thinking you are the problem.

As a man you will have a very target focused mind, it doesn’t even matter what the target is, but once you have a goal then you will put all your drive and energy into reaching that goal, so you find a girl you like, and boom, all your energy starts on go on getting her attention or getting a date, but slow down for a second.

Women take longer to process thoughts and feelings in a dating type of situation, it might be hard for you to understand, but it might take a woman a week, two weeks, three weeks, etc, to fully think about how she feels, and where she wants this to go, the goal for women is different and therefore handled in a different way; women are just more emotional, there is nothing wrong with this, but it does mean giving her space can be a very efficient way to help her realize what she wants, or how much she actually misses you when you are not there.

Don’t Text in Desperation

When she backs off, straight away you will have the urge to reach out and message her more than normal, well don’t. If you feel desperate to text more to try and get a response or have her attention or acknowledgment, it will show, and it will not look good. You are strong, you have your own life, and you don’t need her attention to feel better, so keep your messaging habits to normal, at most.

If you display desperate behavior via message, this moment of weakness will not be forgotten by her, it is off-putting and it is one of the quickest ways to kill your game; no one wants to feel like they are messaging a man who is being ruled by his insecurities, and unfortunately, you can also be sure that she will tell her friends about it as well.

Don’t Double Text

If she finally messages you or responds to you, reply once, then leave it, the when she replies, like before, message once then leave, always one message then stop. If she wants to wait an hour, a day or week to reply, then let her, you don’t need to double text.

Maybe she is even waiting for a double text, but don’t give in; be patient, keep steady, and wait for her reply. It is important that she knows that you are not giving in, you are not sitting at home waiting for her, you have your own life.

It is easy to think a quick second text isn’t a big deal, maybe you saw something on TV, or heard something in a song that reminded you of her, it is possible that she may have a work or personal problem that you are aware of, and you want to check in with her, but stop.

You have messaged her already, you can bring these things up with her another time, namely after she has replied to you or you are in a different setting, you deserve a response, so you will wait for a response.

Don’t Act Clingy

Now, you may think that because you are only messaging her a few times, or only responding when she does, that you are not being clingy, but pay attention to what you are saying in your messages, rather than focusing on the fact that you are not messaging a lot.

It is easy to get over emotional in a message when you are not messaging frequently, you have a lot of time to think about this girl or what you want to do with this girl, so suddenly, when a message from her comes through, you write an outpouring of irrelevant emotion all in one message because she has been on your mind.

Instead, keep your language casual, you don’t need to tell her you have missed her, you want to hug her, you can’t wait to see her, or any of the like; rather, find the balance between being relaxed, but not being standoffish, be polite, be kind, but don’t be clingy.

Don’t Be Over Interested

This doesn’t mean just her personal or family life, this is for all aspects of her life. She has a big work meeting in the afternoon – great, good luck. She has a doctor’s appointment that evening – okay, you hope it goes well. She is going out with friends at the weekend – good, you hope she has fun. Responding is a semi-interested manner to aspects of her life will always leave her wanting more.

The less interest you show, the more she will show you because suddenly your lack of interest has made you interesting.

It is also not necessary for you to always be asking her questions, especially if she doesn’t return the favor, this is not a job interview; let her lead the conversation, and don’t give too much away, it is a classic case of people wanting what they think they can’t have.

After a while of you acting like you are not overly keen, you will see an increase in the amount she messages you, and while you don’t want all of your interactions to always be happening over text, it will give her the chance to get to know you better and realize that she wants you.

Don’t Try to Be Funny

You might think you are funny, your friends might think you are funny, and yes, you might even actually be funny, but this does not always translate well over message, in fact, someone’s true tone or intention rarely comes across as the person intended.

For this reason, trying to make a joke, especially if she is taking time to think about what she wants, could easily come across as that you are trying to be difficult or “off” with her, and straight away you have now lost her and any chance you had with her; in the beginning stages of messaging or getting to know someone, the wrong kind of comment can make the whole thing come crashing down, as harsh as it may seem.

So, always remember, a joke can be misconstrued as a sly dig, or a patronizing comment, therefore, leave the jokes until you are hanging out in person, the time is right and you can genuinely make her laugh.

Set Solid Plans

If you want to have a date with this girl then set a date. You want to go to the cinema, a restaurant, or a walk along the beach, well perfect, so set the date. Never waste time sitting around waiting for her to offer up a date or a time that she is available, you are a man so take the reins and tell her when you are free and what you want to do.

Of course, you can be firm without being forceful, tell her when you would like to see her and ask her if she is available too rather than telling her you are free and will be there whether she can make it or not.

Don’t Cut Out Other Women

While you are going through the stage of dealing with an infrequent texter, don’t get so wrapped up in it that you forget about your other options. This girl who is too busy to reply, or is taking the time to figure stuff out, is not the only girl who could be a potential interest for you, there are plenty of other women out there, so don’t get so caught on up focusing on this one girl because she has you on a hook, that you dismiss or don’t pay attention to your needs.

It is okay for you to continue with your life, and have fun in the meantime, you don’t owe this girl anything, and there should be no guilt attached to you having an interest in another girl, so don’t let other opportunities slip away. If anything, it could even work in your favor if she finds out, and realizes that this pang of jealousy she feels is because she does want you, and was just a little slow to see it.

Dealing With A Non-Responder

Sometimes, the situation that you are in can seem a whole lot worse, in the sense that the girl has gone from messaging regularly, to barely at all, and finally to zero responses regardless of what you do.

This has probably happened for one of two reasons, either one; she is genuinely just playing games with you, however, you don’t have time for this, and you don’t deserve to be treated like this, so if you get the feeling that she is not responding at all because she is playing a game, then just call it a day – don’t message her again, even if you feel angry and are sure you will feel better if you tell her, trust us, you won’t; instead, forget about her, block her number if you have to, just be done with it and move on.

Or the other option is that she is just not into you, this can happen, and if it does don’t worry you are not the only one, but honestly don’t waste time thinking about it, or getting down on yourself thinking you did something wrong, you can’t find the right girl every time, so instead use it as a learning experience, even in a negative situation, we can usually find a lesson or silver lining in there somewhere, but don’t let a bad experience stop you from finding the next girl.

(The book Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction by Christopher Canwell is THE BEST available to help you get what you want from a relationship and dating in general). 

Atomic Attraction: The Psychology of Attraction on Amazon.com

Reading Time: 7 minutes

What you do when your girlfriend breaks up with you will depend on if the breakup was your fault or not. If the break up was your fault because you lied or worse then you should apologize, and let her know that you’re sorry and that you want to work it out. Then you leave and never contact her again. When she is ready she will contact you.

Unfortunately, this is the exact opposite of what most guys do when their girlfriend breaks up with them.  Most guys will go totally beta male and cry and beg, send her one-hundred texts, and another hundred voice mails begging and pleading to her to take them back.

Acting that way after she breaks up with you is the exact opposite of how you should act if you want to get her back. In fact, acting like a needy sniveling beta male after a breakup can and probably will destroy any chance that you had of ever getting her back.

Acting like a weak beta male will only lower her attraction for you even further (if she still has any) and she will quickly move on and will be riding reverse cowgirl on top of the next guy that gives her some attention.

A Short Story About a Beta Male

For example, a few years ago I was seeing a woman who had broken up with her boyfriend about three or four months prior to my meeting her. The guy was one of the worst cases of being a beta male that I’ve ever seen.

After she had tried to break it off with him he convinced her that they could and should still be friends, yes, this dumbass friend-zoned himself! He would constantly call and text her, he would go visit her mother and kiss her butt hoping that the mom would talk her daughter into taking him back.

He did all kinds of stupid total beta male stuff to get her back… he kept this nonsense up for NEARLY TWO YEARS! It got to the point that she was considering getting a restraining order against him so that she could have some peace and not be bothered by him and his foolishness all of the time.

His thinking was that if he kept it up and pretended to be her friend and kept doing things for her, and kept texting, and calling that she would eventually realize that he was the one for her and that she would take him back and that they would live happily ever after… as princess and beta male.

But you know what happened nothing. She never took him back and after almost two years he finally gave up and started dating some other poor unfortunate woman. All he did was waste nearly two years of his life chasing her.

The funny thing is that she told me that when she first broke it off with him, she was just aggravated and needed a few days to think. She said that if he had given her a little space that she would have called him to work it out.

But his reaction after the break up was to cry, scream, beg and to bombard her with hundreds of texts and phone calls nonstop until she lost any attraction that she had for him. He acted like a beta male and ruined his chances and as a result, he never got a second chance.

Whereas all he needed to do was to give her some space and time to think…

First Consider The Reason For The Break-Up

Girls break up with guys for a number of reasons, it could be your fault or it could be for some other reason and your reaction to the breakup should be similar no matter the reason with a slight variation depending on it the breakup was your fault or hers.

First, we will look at it from the viewpoint of the breakup was your fault, but also keep in mind that a lot of times the girl will try to figure out a way to make it your fault even if it was really just her looking for an excuse so she could blame you to clear her conscious.

So even if she blames you for the breakup, for example blaming you because “you were not showing her enough attention” so she cheated with the guy down the street that told her she had nice tits or whatever. Don’t let her guilt you into taking the blame for the breakup if it wasn’t your fault!

With that said you have to ask yourself do you really want her back? If she cheats for any reason then personally I would not want her and would be happy it was over so I could move on and find a better woman, who was hopefully more honest and who wouldn’t run out and spread her legs for the first guy who happens to give her some attention and validation.

But, then that’s up to you and I’ll leave it at that for now since this article is about what to do when your girlfriend breaks up with you. So let’s look at the situations as if she has broken up with you AND the breakup is truly your fault.

What You Should Do If It Was Your Fault…

How should you act? What should be your first… and last move?

The first thing that you should do is to offer her a real and sincere apology.  Tell her you’re sorry for what happened. Tell you how much you regret it doing it or that it happened. Assure her that if she will forgive you and give you another chance that it will never happen again. Tell her that you love her.

And after you give her a real heartfelt apology and assure her that it will never happen again… you then tell her that you know that she is hurt and under a lot of stress because of what you did and tell her that when she is ready to talk about working things out to call you…

And then you leave… and wait. Don’t text her, don’t call her, don’t email her, don’t send messages through her friends, don’t like or leave comments on her facebook updates. Don’t do anything! Leave it alone.

If she wants to work it out then she will contact you. If she doesn’t then you will never hear from her again. Either way, you’ll have your answer one way or the other. But one thing is certain and that is that blowing up her phone with texts and calls begging her for another chance will not work to get her back.

All continuing to chase and beg like a bitch will do is ensure that she loses any attraction and respect she might still for you and you’ll never get her back. Act like that and the next time you see her will be in a loving embrace with that guy who used to be your best friend or the guy she told you that she was only friends with.

What You Should Do If The Break-Up Wasn’t Your Fault…

Okay, now let’s look at it the other way, let’s say that she broke up with you and it wasn’t your fault. Yes, it can and does happen all of the time. Like I said above in this article, lots of time when a girl will want to break up but she doesn’t want to be seen as “the bad guy” so instead of simply breaking up with you she will twist it around and make it your fault.

If that’s the case and you still want her back then you would do similar to what I told you above… however, without the apology. Simply tell her that you didn’t do anything wrong and not going to take the blame for it. Tell her you’re leaving and that when she wants to talk that she can contact you.

And then again you don’t, don’t call, don’t Facebook message, don’t ask her friends how or what she is doing, don’t like her Facebook photos, or anything. Do not contact her for any reason. If she wants to work things out then she will contact you. If not then she won’t. Either way, you’ll have your answer.

No amount of whining, begging, or pleading will help the situation… you have to give her space. Give her time to think. Give her time to miss you and wonder why you haven’t contacted her. If you give her some space and time she will (if she still has any attraction for you) start to miss you and she will contact you.

What To Do When She Contacts You…

When she decides that she can’t take it anymore and wants to talk and reaches out to you via a text, message, a phone call or whatever, what should you do… You should wait an hour or two, you wait a little while because you don’t want to seem to overly eager or like you’ve been holding the phone in your hand waiting for her to call (and you shouldn’t be).

When you answer her call or text back you should be friendly but not overly eager. After a few minutes If she is just sending random texts or just talking and doesn’t ask you to meet with her to talk face-to-face, you should come out and ask her did she have a reason for calling?

If she says anything besides that she wants to get together and talk or hangout then you should say well it’s been good to hear from you… I’m really busy right now… if you want you can call me back some other time… and you go no contact again and wait.

What To Do While You Wait…

In the meantime, you should not worry anymore about it. Go on with your life. Get on your purpose. Take the time to work on yourself (read my article how to become a better man after a break up), by getting into better shape, learning a new skill, starting a business, making new friends… and who knows while she is trying to figure it all out you might cross paths with another girl that takes your breath away and forget all about the one who broke up with you.