After a break up it might seem like it’s the end of the world. You might be depressed, you might feel useless and like you’re a failure and that’s normal after a break-up after a long-term relationship has ended.
But you will survive… and you can turn the break-up and the fact that you’re now single into a positive thing and a driver of increased motivation to improve every aspect of your life.
While both have some similarities in this article we will be looking at it from the perspective of a break-up after dating relationship where you have been dating for several months or even years, but not from the perspective of a divorce.
While both can wreck a guy’s life emotionally divorce opens up a whole slew of other legal issues like property ownership issues, alimony, child support, parenting rights, and other nightmares. That’s a whole other article altogether and one I’ll cover here in the near future.
With that said this article is going to cover a break-up and the resulting struggle of being single from the “my girlfriend got sick of me being too clingy” or the “my girlfriend got bored and dumped me for my best friend” point of view.
As they say, time heals and that’s true… however, that offers little comfort right after a break-up. You want and need some positive steps to help you to feel better now and that will speed up the healing process. Let’s get started.
Don’t Turn Into an Alcoholic
After a break-up, lots of guys turn to alcohol and drink excessively in an attempt to “drink their pain away”… don’t do it. Getting drunk and attempting to stay that way until the pain goes away isn’t going to fix the hurt you’re feeling after a breakup.
All excessive drinking will accomplish is you having a hangover and an empty wallet the next day and you’ll probably end up calling her while your drunk crying and begging her to please work things out with you… which will only make you look like a desperate chump and lower her attraction for you even further.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
Another thing that guys often do after a breakup is that they will isolate themselves from the world. Don’t do it. Turn off the TV or the video game and go outside. Go hang out with friends. Go visit family. Take a road trip. Do something… anything but isolation.
By getting out and being social you’ll get your mind off of the breakup, have some fun and possibly meet someone new.
Don’t Become an Online Stalker (or Worse)
Another thing that a lot of guys do after a breakup is they become online stalkers. They will constantly check their exes Facebook page, and that of everyone she knows and hangs out with hoping to see a new photo of her or an update of some kind so that they can see what she is doing and who she is doing it with.
This isn’t any help to you at all and if you keep doing this you’ll never heal and be able to move on. Stop it! Get off social media, stop being a stalker and re-read the advice above again… don’t isolate yourself and don’t be a stalker.
Avoid Emotionally Beating Yourself Up
You’ve heard it before… don’t beat yourself up! And it’s true. If the breakup was your fault then you should give her a sincere apology and tell her that you know you messed up, that you made a huge mistake, tell her how sorry you are… once!
Don’t keep apologizing. We all make mistakes. Stop beating yourself up about it. What’s done has been done and you can’t change it. Apologize once and that’s it. She will either accept it or not.
You can beat yourself up about it as much as you want and it won’t help or change the fact in any way… all beating yourself up will do is to make it more difficult to move on with your life. Consider it a learning experience. Now you know and can avoid making that same mistake in your next relationship.
Get On Your Purpose
One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to get on your purpose. What do I mean… by “get on your purpose”… you should have a purpose in life and no matter what you should never waver on your purpose.
Your purpose is whatever is most important to you… it could be your job, your business, martial arts, charity work… your purpose can be anything that is important to you and that benefits your life in a positive way. That’s your purpose.
Double down on that purpose. Focus on it, live it own it and soon the breakup will be a fading memory.
Improve How You Look and Feel
After a breakup, most guys will feel down and as I said above will be beating themselves up. One of the best things that you can do after a breakup is to improve how you look. It will help you to get your confidence back and to move on with your life.
Get a new haircut or hairstyle, buy some new clothes, maybe some new shoes, or a new watch (check this one out at Amazon.com). If you’ve not been working out then start. Lose a few pounds if you need to.
By taking care of your looks and improving in that area you’ll feel better about yourself which will make moving on that much easier.
How do I Enjoy Being a Single Man
While it might now seem like it at first… there are some positives (a lot actually) to being single. Think about it… single guys have more freedom to do whatever they want to do whenever they want to do it. And no more nagging that’s huge plus right there.
Single guys (who are on their purpose) have more money, because, well having a girlfriend is expensive.
And let’s not forget about strange… if you don’t have a girlfriend watching you all of the time you’ll be able to sleep (as in have sex) with that hot girl who works at the corner store or wherever and not feel guilty about it.
After a breakup, you’ll be a free man… a free man with a wallet full of cash, relaxed nerves, and smelling like strange… you like strange right? Of course, you do.
If you look at all of the positives then you might be happy being single for the rest of your life!
Never Invest Too Much in a Woman
I agree with this guy 100 percent! Watch this video several times it’s that important!