So Should I Bring Her Flowers on a Second Date?
Absolutely not! It’s too soon to give any kind of gift on the second date. You are likely to come across needy or rather be perceived to be overcompensating for your weakness. Hold on to your flowers until you two are dating or rather sleeping with each other.
There is a myriad of other things that you shouldn’t be doing on the second date, but we’ll get to that later on. Before we dive right into the second date tips, let us see how to get this date in the first place.
How to get a second date?
So the first date is over and now you are reeling to ask her out on a second date. I could wax you with the philosophies of great second date tips, but let me help you set yourself up with on one first. There is basically no specific rules to this, thus these are just guidelines to help you achieve your dating goals.
People often ask, when and how should I ask for a second date? First, it all depends on how the first date went. For instance, if you are a stud, you might find girls asking you for a second date while you are on your first date, which you should be happy to oblige. Moreover, if the date went well, you can ask her right away as you are dropping her off or when parting ways at the end of the date.
You can simply say, “I had a really great time with you, we can go out again to this exciting place you know she’ll love and maybe mention a day.” You are trying to avoid asking when she’s free because it leaves a huge room for a maybe or a no. If she says she’s not available on that particular day, you are setting her up to commit to another day.
If she seems elusive about making a commitment, let it rest and the follow up a week later. If her response is not promising after a week, don’t beat yourself up. Go ahead and meet another gorgeous girl. Another way to go about it is to text her immediately you get home to check if she got home safely and tell her you did too.
Then wait for at least three days to contact her to tell her you’d like to see her again, you had a great time, bla bla bla. I always recommend to contact her once a week. This not only portrays a secure guy but also help you avoid making fatal mistakes when you talk too much before your second date.
Second Date Tips
Congratulations, you somehow made it through the first date awkwardness and you are eager for the follow-up date. The first date was probably not as good as you wished it to be. So the idea of the second date gives you jitters.
You don’t want to embarrass yourself, you want it to go swimmingly well that you’ll be able to get a second date kiss. You have not come this far to blow it now; so here are some second date tips to help you maneuver like a seduction guru.
A date is not a matter of life a death. It is just you trying to know another soul. I can tell you beforehand that not all your dates will go well. Even seductions gurus have bad dates once in a while. Moreover, now she has agreed to go out on a second date with you, it means she liked you enough on the first date.
She now wants both of you to know each other better. Unfortunately, you can’t be the best part of yourself when you are way too nervous. It’s okay to be a bit jittery though, it just means that you want the date to work out. And if you channel this energy into the right use, given that you’ve already done the heavy lifting, nothing can stop you.
Where do you take her on a second date?
It’s not just girls, everyone likes some novelty. So just because hiking or hanging out in your local bar worked out the first time around, it doesn’t mean that it will work on your second date. You need to be a bit creative and probably do something new and exciting.
This means that the movie or dinner date ban is still in effect for your second date. The whole point of the second date is to get to know each other. How is that supposed to happen while watching a movie?
On the other hand, dinner is more formal, tense and may feel like a job interview. You also need to avoid noisy bars where you can barely talk, sports events, or anything that she might not like.
So you need carefully think about and plan where you are going to take her for the date and even better surprise her. To pull this out, you can set some pre-date time which gives you a chance to bond before you go for the actual date. For instance, you can hit up the happy hour together or even grab a coffee, or even take a stroll around the city or the park.
The whole idea is to set up the pre-date in such a way that it buts up against the actual date. Moreover, the catch-up part should not be so long; one-hour max. You do not want things slowing down before you got started.
You want the next bit of the date to be exciting. There is no better way to achieve this than making your destination is a surprise. This could be going to a special or an unusual restaurant that has a unique setting or serves unfamiliar foods, hitting the best cocktail bar in town or even going out on a picnic.
Besides this, there a number of unexpected things you can do to get to increase the excitement of the date. You can take part in cultural activities such as comedy and jazz clubs or take a boat ride or even go to a zoo.
You don’t have to try too hard to entertain her. All you need to do is to plan ahead, by selecting something she’ll want to do. This should be pretty easy. All you need to do is to pay attention to what she says she’s into during the first date.
Then surprise her during the second date by doing some of the mundane things she had mentioned. This way, you are guaranteed that she will love the surprise and she will also be impressed that you were paying attention.
A few Things to Avoid On your Second Date
Don’t rush things
Avoid being too romantic and overly sexual. Most guys who do this are usually trying to her to sleep with them on their second date. However, if the girl didn’t drag you into bed after the first date, don’t expect to get lucky on your second date.
So you should also not invite her to your place because she’ll assume that you are trying to find a way to get to sleep with her. Moreover, avoid introducing her to your friends or family until much later. The most you should expect out this date is a kiss if you handle yourself well.
Sometimes you may feel a deep level of connection with your date and you are ready to spend hours opening up your heart to them. This is a bad idea though, the more you talk, the more you are likely to say the wrong things especially if you keep talking about yourself.
Take time to listen and when you talk, show that you understand her and also try to validate her. This way you will be able to connect with her on a deeper level.
However, don’t mistake this to mean that you should become boring or passive. There is a myriad of things you can talk about; favorite movies, hobbies, her last vacation, etc. that will keep you highly engaged and connected.
Keep your smartphone in your pocket
When the conversation seems to get slow, our first refuge is usually our phones to help you weather down the awkward silent moments. At times, you just need to keep up to date with an ongoing conversation with your friends.
Not today though! The habit of checking your phone shows that you don’t respect yourself and your date. Furthermore, this evening is important to you, right? Thus, keep your phone out of sight and in silent mode to avoid distractions.
Be interesting and be interested
This is not the time to talk about your past girlfriends or to tell her how lousy your day was. The best conversation you can have on a second date is to talk more about her. Careful not to make this an interrogation though.
The secret here is to avoid being too direct. So instead of asking her how many destinations she’s been to, where you will get a flat answer like 5 and that’s it, ask where is the most existing place she’s visited.
Next, you can ask what’s is in her bucket list? Instead of asking her if she is a fan of movies, ask what she’s been watching lately, or what kind of music she’s currently into. This way, she will gladly share great details about herself that will help you to know how to make her happy.
If she seems really boring, rude, disengaged or just a complete airhead, don’t be afraid to end the date earlier and go look for another interesting girl.
If she’s really interesting, you want to make her feel comfortable and yet special to you. So season the conversation with genuine compliments. Moreover, since this is the second date, you want to heighten the level of intensity and attraction and thus mere words might not cut the chase. A great way to achieve this is to her is to touch her in subtle non-sexual ways.
This could start with a warm hug when you meet, place your hand on the small of her back when you open the door for her, hold hands while walking, touch her arm when you make a point, etc. Though these touches seem innocent and even accidental, they go a long way in heightening her attraction towards you.
Make it Memorable
This is not her first date in her life; probably she’s been to countless others. Maybe she came to the second date hoping it will not be as bad as the first one. Thus, bringing your A-game will go a long way in making your second date exceptional.
Understand that the second date is very crucial; it is where she decides if she wants to go on a third date with you. remember that things usually start happening on the third date. So you need to have something that makes you stand out from the rest.
Something to wow her which could be as simple as helping her try out a new delicious cocktail or anything else she might be interested in. You want her to remember your second date on Monday and that’s how you land the third date.
Yes, you have goals, but you shouldn’t have too many expectations. This way, you will be able to have fun, without having to overthink about the outcome i.e. whether you will get laid or the date will grow into some relationship. When you have fun, you’ll be surprised how much of a asanova’ you can turn out to be because you will get to exude confidence.
Just allow yourself to have fun, and forget about following the dating advice to the letter or finding someone you will want to marry at that moment and in that place. Some spontaneity will make the date much fun as long as you don’t do or say something too risky.
If you are having fun, she too is and nothing makes a woman start thinking about a third date or to et out of here’ than being with a guy who understands her, is interesting, is fun, good looking, charming, has a sense of humor…