by Tibbie
Politics and religion are two of the most divisive and emotive topics in our communities today. Every politics and religion enthusiast is trying to outdo their opposition, desperate to appear superior to the other. And while that is legal and acceptable in the society, what happens when love is caught in the wrangles?
Better put; how difficult or easy is it date someone who holds religious or political views that sharply contradicts yours? Well, please read on to understand the answer to this question in finer details as well as get other vital dating tips for men.
10 Pros and Cons of Dating Someone from a Different Religion
Pros:
1.Religion smart
When you date someone from a different religion, you get to experience the traditions and prevailing trends of your partner’s religion firsthand. The advantage of possessing this high level of knowledge is that you will become effective in your witnessing and testimonies now and in the future.
2.The hybridity factor
If your relationship leads to marriage and children, then your kids will grow in the hybridity of both religions. They will easily learn about and practice both religions, which open up their minds in a big way. What’s more, the kids will be at liberty to celebrate multiple holidays. For example, if you are a Christian dating a Jew, your kids will celebrate both Hanukah and Christmas and rightfully so—sounds cool, right?
3. Diverse viewpoints make your faith stronger
Having diverse religious opinions and viewpoints in a sexual relationship can sometimes precipitate unwanted conflicts, but there definitely are many attached benefits. For example, doing so will widen your perspective about religion and encourage you to examine your own beliefs. That will consequently make your faith stronger.
4.A Wider Circle of Influence
Interfaith dating widens your circle of influence and allows you access to more people of the opposite faith. You can easily influence your partner as well as her friends and family to shift to your religion.
Having a wide circle of influence also means that you will not be limited as to who you can and cannot date. When you limit your options to your religion- just because it is convenient and probably fashionable, sometimes you end up dating the wrong people.
5.If it works, it really works.
If you find someone who is willing to cross religious boundaries in the name of love, if that person risks being seen as a person of weak faith just to be with you, then, by all means, enter into a relationship with her. The joy of being with someone who understands and supports your beliefs even as much as she doesn’t believe in them is unbeatable.
This is even more convincing: Because you two understand that there are tons of haters out there who would wish to see your breakup, you find yourselves working extra hard to protect your love. So, if it is working in the preliminary stages, rest assured that it will only get better and flourish even more.
Cons:
1.Compromising one’s beliefs is not always easy
Without the shared values that couples in the same religion enjoy, you may find it extremely difficult for the two of you to coexist. Imagine having contradicting opinions on the things that make the wheel of love turn; things like sex, birth control, and partying. You probably believe in abstaining from sex until after marriage, but your partner can’t seem to fathom any of that.
Or, maybe your faith warns you against alcohol consumption no matter the occasion but your partner is convinced that that shouldn’t be an issue. How do you navigate such murky waters? It is obviously hard.
2.Getting marriage/spiritual advice is hard
Challenges will always be there for any married or dating couple. If you share the same spiritual leader, however, ironing out those challenges is easy because he or she will provide you with a safe space to speak your hearts out. This is a privilege that you may never have if each one of you has their own, different spiritual father/mother.
Matter of fact: Not many religious leaders support interfaith marriages. Even if you agree to compromise your faith so that you can both seek dating advice from her religious leader, therefore, you can never be sure if the leader will be comfortable with you around.
3.It can potentially reduce the strength and purity of your religion.
We talked about how dating someone from a different religion gives you a strong influence over her and the people around her. But what if instead of influencing her to convert, your love for her ends up diluting your faith and jeopardizing the purity of your beliefs? That has happened to many people and it is never a pleasant thing to happen to any strong believer.
4.Identity crises for your kids
As we said earlier, the kids will have fun when they are young as a result of being a hybrid of two religious views. But that can haunt them later in life; they might struggle to find a strong or distinct religious identity later in life.
5.Reduced “hang out” options
When hanging out with your lover, which topics will you enjoy discussing? At least when you share religious views, Christianity, for example, you can always go to church together, organize bible study sessions in your house, sing Christian hymns together- and much more. And if you both are Muslim, you can always fast together, read the Quran together, and what a view. These are activities that bring couples together, but you probably will never have a chance to experience them.
Pros and Cons of Dating Someone with Different Political Views
Pros:
1.An exchange of ideas can be interesting and exciting
If it is mutually acceptable to discuss politics in the house, preferably without provoking one another, then you are going to have very interesting and exciting debates. Mild, unemotional verbal spars once in a while will also help you break the monotony of always agreeing on everything. However, you may need to have a caveat that you use to call a truce in case one of you feel like things are beginning to escalate to undesired levels.
2.You get an expanded perspective of her side
Of course, not everything is flawless on your side of the equation and neither is hers. On the flip side, some of her side’s ideologies are great if only you would make a genuine effort to understand them well.
The problem is that you don’t always get the chance to expand your perspective of the antagonizing political party because of the all-out brawls that opposing supporters throw out there.
Everything changes when the person educating you about the other side’s ideologies is the woman you love. She will explain things to you both respectfully and patiently to the extent that you won’t even feel the need to be defensive. What’s more, listening to her arguments will make it easier for her to listen to yours and, in the end, you both enlighten each other.
3.She is well-informed, which is a plus
You have 3 options when it comes to finding a lover: Someone who is knowledgeable about politics and shares your views, someone who is knowledgeable but holds opposing views, or someone who isn’t informed enough to have any views at all. While it would be excellent to have the first option, you would rather have the second option than living with someone who has no passion for current affairs.
4.You learn to embrace your differences even more
When you have a deep love, respect, and understanding for each other, different beliefs cannot put a wedge between you. You will be agreeing to disagree on many issues to the point that you will learn to embrace your diversity even more. After all, differences will always rock your relationship even if you share political views.
Discussing politics- something that you both are very passionate about- will constantly remind you both that as passionate as you could be about anything, no passion beats what you feel for your significant other and your relationship.
Cons:
1.It can be embarrassing
Imagine how embarrassing it would be if your woman disagrees with you openly when your friends are over. Also, imagine a case where your strong differences in opinion start affecting your kids and splitting your family. You definitely wouldn’t wish for that.
2.Respecting each other’s privacy is sometimes difficult
If you aren’t careful, you can easily be tempted to infringe on your lover’s freedom to vote however she would like. Some abusive husbands even threaten to go in together with their wives to vote just to ensure that they force their preferred candidate down their partner’s throat. It is a good thing that that is no longer allowed in polling stations.
3. It can get messy at times
Without setting mutually-acceptable ground rules, you can easily find yourselves name-calling and belittling each other. That can easily go overboard especially on election nights, so you would rather do something else but not watch the news.
4.Political differences can make you lose sight of what really matters most.
If politics become the center-stage of your lives, you can easily forget that your relationship is built on a much more important cornerstone- love- and not your political points of view.
Conclusion:
When all is said and done, it is imperative to understand that your partner’s political and religious views do not necessarily form the core aspect of who they are. It is, therefore, okay to date someone who holds different political and religious views from yours.
But with the glaring challenges that we have discussed, perhaps the best form of relationship to have with such a partner is a short-term casual (sexual) relationship. Long-term relationship or marriage can precipitate too many challenges in the future, particularly after the kids arrive.
Our verdict: Finding someone whose beliefs closely align with yours is the wisest thing to do.
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