You can stop being shy around women and in any other social setting…
Overcoming shyness is one of the most difficult tasks when it comes to meeting and talking to women, and well life in general. But it can be done, how do I know you ask… well, I know because I used to be debilitatingly shy as a child and all the up into my late 20’s, however, I overcame my shyness and you can too.
I will show you how I did it in the sentences below and how you can too by doing what I did. Your ingrained shyness will be melted away more and more each day until you realize that you’re no longer shy!
It’s really sorta shocking when you’ve been shy all your life and then after putting in the effort and following the steps for a few weeks and then all of a sudden you can yourself talking to strangers (and beautiful women) effortlessly, and without the usual shyness and timidness that you’ve had all of your life!
It’s a great feeling and I have 100% faith in this system because I know it works, after all, it worked on me to overcome my own shyness problem, and I’ve seen it work to cure others. But first, it’s important to talk a little about why overcoming shyness is important when meeting and seducing the woman of your dreams as well as for an improved quality of life and happiness in general.
Why Overcoming Shyness is So Important
Women and people, in general, are attracted to and drawn to confident men and it’s impossible to be genuinely confident when you’re a shy introvert. You can be a super handsome guy, that women are attracted to at first glance, but they will quickly lose interest and find you far less attractive if give off a vibe of awkwardness, and an uncertainty, aka shyness when talking and interacting with them.
Sometimes it’s even possible to fake being confident for a while, however, it doesn’t take most women long to figure out that deep down you’re timid, shy, and unsure of yourself and your actions. So you have to genuinely overcome your shyness disability, that’s what it is, is a disability by making an effort and completing the steps that I detail below.
My Personal History With Shyness
I grew up dirt poor and my mom, dad and me where homeless several times before I had grown to my teenage years. My mother worked and did the best that she could to provide for me but rising out of poverty and homelessness was impossible when my dad refused to hold a job and instead investing his time seeing how many beers, and or whiskey shots he could guzzle down every day.
Growing up homeless, or living in ran down trailer parks, that or living in rented houses that were not fit to live in growing up made it difficult to feel confident or that you have self-worth.
And not just the homelessness and living in squalor but having to go to school wearing, old worn-out clothing, and shoes didn’t help matters either. Kids can be mean and cruel, no doubt about that, and when you go to school and you’re not dressed the way everyone else is, or your shoe has a hole in it, they will point it out via laughter and taunting.
Such laughter and taunting isn’t a boost to one’s self-confidence and as a child, it can be scarring mentally for life if you don’t take the steps to overcome it by healing those mental scars. But trust me… those scars can be healed and you can overcome as I did.
While growing up dirt poor and living homeless for most of my early years, and being made fun of and laughed at by bratty kids because I wasn’t dressed in the latest fashions of that day was bad enough, my problems didn’t end there… nope… it gets worse.
With all the above issues that I had to deal with, I was also a stutterer… yeah, I know right. It was like the one-two-three punching combination that I had to take on the chin and deal with. So I was a poor, poorly dressed, stutterer as a young child and into my teenage years, and the stuttering stayed with me up until my late 20’s.
Oh, wait, there’s more… aside from all of that that I had to deal with, both my parent were also backward, awkward, and shy, so I had no real example of outgoingness and confidence in my life growing up, so during my childhood growing up I thought that it was normal to be shy and introverted.
So, with all that I had going against me growing up, it should be no surprise to anyone that I was extremely shy and introverted to the point of being life handicapped. Any human interaction was difficult for me, even something as simple as going to the grocery store or ordering a hamburger at Mcdonalds was stressful and often avoided.
And, going up to a pretty girl and making “small talk” was impossible for me, and how can you get a girlfriend if you get all nervous, twitchy, and stuttery when you get near a girl and try to open your mouth to speak… I had a lot to overcome.
But I did it and you can too – there are three main steps to overcoming shyness. Let’s get started…
Deal With Negative Self-Talk
Most people don’t realize it but the things that we say to ourselves (or think in our heads) play a huge role in who we are. The right self-talk can have an amazingly positive effect on every aspect of your life, likewise, the wrong self-talk can drag you down and keep you there so the first step in overcoming your shyness is to be mindful of your negative self-talk and replace it with positive self-talk and thoughts that will lead you to not thinking of yourself as shy anymore.
Remember as a man thinketh, so he is – Proverbs 23:7. There is also a book by the title “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen, it’s a classic and one you should have in your self-help book library. Below is a quote from the book:
Each man holds the key to every condition, good or bad, that enters into his life, and that, by working patiently and intelligently upon his thoughts, he may remake his life, and transform his circumstances. …and it can be carried in the pocket.
If you’re really interested in overcoming your shyness and improving other areas of your life with corrected self-talk then you can go to Amazon and order your own copy of “As a Man Thinketh” by James Allen. There are other great books of this type but as far as I know, this is the first and the others after just repeat the same principles.
It’s really simple when broken down to its basic principle for our purposes here… and that is to overcome shyness.
For example, instead of saying (or thinking) “I’m shy”, or “I hate meeting new people”, or “I get so nervous when I talk to women”, you want to replace that kind of self-talk with positive words and self-talk that will over time replace the way you think of yourself now to the image of the person that you’ve been telling yourself that you are through better, positive self-talk. Because you really are that person, you just have to bring it to the surface by replacing the words and thoughts that you normally have with constructive positive ones.
I’m an outgoing person and I love to meet and interact with people that I know and new people as well. I’m a people person and people love to be around me because I’m smart and funny. I also love to meet and talk to beautiful women and can do so with ease and always know what to say.
Didn’t you feel better just reading that? Sure you did. Go back and read it several more times… go ahead, I’ll wait. Okay, all done? Great!
Here’s what you need to do… memorize (or print it off and read it) what I wrote above and repeat it out loud one-hundred times every morning and another one-hundred before going to bed every night. If for some reason, like for example you have other people living in the same house then you can repeat it in your head instead of out loud, however, it’s more effective and quicker to take root in your subconscious when said out loud and with feeling.
It will probably seem strange at first but you’ll soon get used to it and feel the effect as your thoughts and personality change to being an outgoing man who likes to meet and talk to new people, and also a man who has no problem interacting and talking to new woman that you find sexy and attractive.
It’s also important that when those old negative thoughts try to creep back into your mind that you quickly push those aside and replace those with positive self-talk that will encourage, and change your life forever, for the better, by permanently embedding those thoughts into your subconscious mind.
Meditation and Visualization to Overcome Shyness
The second thing that helped me to overcome my shyness was visualization. It’s really simple at its basic level and it works extremely well in helping to program any ingrained shyness from your subconscious and replacing that person with the outgoing you that you have been visualizing…
I was using visualization to improve overcome shyness and improve my life long before Shakti Gawain wrote the book “Creative Visualization: Use the Power of Your Imagination to Create What You Want in Your Life” but I recently bought that book and it’s great and would have made my progress much faster if I had been able to read that book back when I first started using visualization techniques.
If you want to read the reviews posted by readers of the book on Amazon.com then click here to go to Amazon.com and read those – 90% four stars and up! If you follow the steps below and those in the book it will change your life for the better.
To use visualization to overcome shyness simply find a nice quiet place where you can be along. You can sit up or lay down on a bed, it doesn’t really matter as long as you can relax. Take several deep breaths in through your nose and exhale through your mouth slowly.
Once you’re fully relaxed then just imagine yourself being an outgoing person. See yourself talking and mingling with perfect strangers and anyone that pops into your imagination. This is your world and you are the master.
Imagine yourself walking right up to the woman of your dreams. You walk up without any hesitation or fear and you know exactly what to say and you say it with confidence.
Make this all as real as possible. Feel and see everything. If your mind wanders or when any self-doubt tries to creep in just push those thoughts out of your mind and then back to the positive.
Do these visualization exercises at least once a day for fifteen minutes – preferably right before you go to sleep at night. Doing this right before you fall off to sleep makes it much easier for your subconscious to absorb your thoughts and accept them as reality. And they are a reality, you just have to accept that reality.
Supplements to Overcome Shyness
I know what you’re thinking… supplements to overcome shyness… what? Yeah, right! But it’s true, there are supplements that are proven to help with anxiety, depression. My number one recommendation here is valerian root. You can read more about it here at WebMD.
Try taking 120 to 200 mg, three times per day for anxiety. I take 200 mg three times a day and it helps a lot with daily stress and also helped me greatly when I was working to overcome my own shyness. Here is a link to the brand that I take – the link opens at Amazon.com.
Just take one 200 mg valerian root supplement at a time up to a total of three taking more than one can bring on drowsiness and you don’t want that when you’re in a social setting with friends or talking to the woman of your dreams…
Face Your Fears and Shyness Head-On
Out of all of the steps that I’ve detailed above this is the most important. You have to face your fears head-on and go interact with people. The more that you confront your fear of anything the easier it becomes and the good news is that you can start out slowly…
That’s right, you don’t have to go up to the most beautiful woman in the room and start a conversation… right now. Instead, start slow. Speak to strangers of both sexes when appropriate… you don’t have to get into a full-blown conversation, just simply say hello, it sure is a nice day isn’t it (or rainy, or cold or whatever) when you meet crossing a parking lot or inside a grocery store for example.
If you notice someone getting out of a car that you like then you can say, wow, that’s a nice car! Anyways, you get the point.
You’ll find that the more that you do this the easier it gets. Then once that becomes easy step it up a bit and start speaking to women who you find attractive the same way. And once that gets easy, step it up again and start a real conversation with women who cross your path that you’re also attracted to.
It gets easier the more that you do it until after a while it becomes second nature… and don’t worry, I’ll be going over how to start and keep a conversation going in future articles…
All of the steps that I’ve detailed above can be really helpful to defeat shyness and social anxiety for good. I know, because I’ve used and still use them all and doing so has helped me tremendously. Anyone can be a great help but when you combine them all and stick to it you can see great results.