What you do when your girlfriend breaks up with you will depend on if the breakup was your fault or not. If the break up was your fault because you lied or worse then you should apologize, and let her know that you’re sorry and that you want to work it out. Then you leave and never contact her again. When she is ready she will contact you.
Unfortunately, this is the exact opposite of what most guys do when their girlfriend breaks up with them. Most guys will go totally beta male and cry and beg, send her one-hundred texts, and another hundred voice mails begging and pleading to her to take them back.
Acting that way after she breaks up with you is the exact opposite of how you should act if you want to get her back. In fact, acting like a needy sniveling beta male after a breakup can and probably will destroy any chance that you had of ever getting her back.
Acting like a weak beta male will only lower her attraction for you even further (if she still has any) and she will quickly move on and will be riding reverse cowgirl on top of the next guy that gives her some attention.
A Short Story About a Beta Male
For example, a few years ago I was seeing a woman who had broken up with her boyfriend about three or four months prior to my meeting her. The guy was one of the worst cases of being a beta male that I’ve ever seen.
After she had tried to break it off with him he convinced her that they could and should still be friends, yes, this dumbass friend-zoned himself! He would constantly call and text her, he would go visit her mother and kiss her butt hoping that the mom would talk her daughter into taking him back.
He did all kinds of stupid total beta male stuff to get her back… he kept this nonsense up for NEARLY TWO YEARS! It got to the point that she was considering getting a restraining order against him so that she could have some peace and not be bothered by him and his foolishness all of the time.
His thinking was that if he kept it up and pretended to be her friend and kept doing things for her, and kept texting, and calling that she would eventually realize that he was the one for her and that she would take him back and that they would live happily ever after… as princess and beta male.
But you know what happened nothing. She never took him back and after almost two years he finally gave up and started dating some other poor unfortunate woman. All he did was waste nearly two years of his life chasing her.
The funny thing is that she told me that when she first broke it off with him, she was just aggravated and needed a few days to think. She said that if he had given her a little space that she would have called him to work it out.
But his reaction after the break up was to cry, scream, beg and to bombard her with hundreds of texts and phone calls nonstop until she lost any attraction that she had for him. He acted like a beta male and ruined his chances and as a result, he never got a second chance.
Whereas all he needed to do was to give her some space and time to think…
First Consider The Reason For The Break-Up
Girls break up with guys for a number of reasons, it could be your fault or it could be for some other reason and your reaction to the breakup should be similar no matter the reason with a slight variation depending on it the breakup was your fault or hers.
First, we will look at it from the viewpoint of the breakup was your fault, but also keep in mind that a lot of times the girl will try to figure out a way to make it your fault even if it was really just her looking for an excuse so she could blame you to clear her conscious.
So even if she blames you for the breakup, for example blaming you because “you were not showing her enough attention” so she cheated with the guy down the street that told her she had nice tits or whatever. Don’t let her guilt you into taking the blame for the breakup if it wasn’t your fault!
With that said you have to ask yourself do you really want her back? If she cheats for any reason then personally I would not want her and would be happy it was over so I could move on and find a better woman, who was hopefully more honest and who wouldn’t run out and spread her legs for the first guy who happens to give her some attention and validation.
But, then that’s up to you and I’ll leave it at that for now since this article is about what to do when your girlfriend breaks up with you. So let’s look at the situations as if she has broken up with you AND the breakup is truly your fault.
What You Should Do If It Was Your Fault…
How should you act? What should be your first… and last move?
The first thing that you should do is to offer her a real and sincere apology. Tell her you’re sorry for what happened. Tell you how much you regret it doing it or that it happened. Assure her that if she will forgive you and give you another chance that it will never happen again. Tell her that you love her.
And after you give her a real heartfelt apology and assure her that it will never happen again… you then tell her that you know that she is hurt and under a lot of stress because of what you did and tell her that when she is ready to talk about working things out to call you…
And then you leave… and wait. Don’t text her, don’t call her, don’t email her, don’t send messages through her friends, don’t like or leave comments on her facebook updates. Don’t do anything! Leave it alone.
If she wants to work it out then she will contact you. If she doesn’t then you will never hear from her again. Either way, you’ll have your answer one way or the other. But one thing is certain and that is that blowing up her phone with texts and calls begging her for another chance will not work to get her back.
All continuing to chase and beg like a bitch will do is ensure that she loses any attraction and respect she might still for you and you’ll never get her back. Act like that and the next time you see her will be in a loving embrace with that guy who used to be your best friend or the guy she told you that she was only friends with.
What You Should Do If The Break-Up Wasn’t Your Fault…
Okay, now let’s look at it the other way, let’s say that she broke up with you and it wasn’t your fault. Yes, it can and does happen all of the time. Like I said above in this article, lots of time when a girl will want to break up but she doesn’t want to be seen as “the bad guy” so instead of simply breaking up with you she will twist it around and make it your fault.
If that’s the case and you still want her back then you would do similar to what I told you above… however, without the apology. Simply tell her that you didn’t do anything wrong and not going to take the blame for it. Tell her you’re leaving and that when she wants to talk that she can contact you.
And then again you don’t, don’t call, don’t Facebook message, don’t ask her friends how or what she is doing, don’t like her Facebook photos, or anything. Do not contact her for any reason. If she wants to work things out then she will contact you. If not then she won’t. Either way, you’ll have your answer.
No amount of whining, begging, or pleading will help the situation… you have to give her space. Give her time to think. Give her time to miss you and wonder why you haven’t contacted her. If you give her some space and time she will (if she still has any attraction for you) start to miss you and she will contact you.
What To Do When She Contacts You…
When she decides that she can’t take it anymore and wants to talk and reaches out to you via a text, message, a phone call or whatever, what should you do… You should wait an hour or two, you wait a little while because you don’t want to seem to overly eager or like you’ve been holding the phone in your hand waiting for her to call (and you shouldn’t be).
When you answer her call or text back you should be friendly but not overly eager. After a few minutes If she is just sending random texts or just talking and doesn’t ask you to meet with her to talk face-to-face, you should come out and ask her did she have a reason for calling?
If she says anything besides that she wants to get together and talk or hangout then you should say well it’s been good to hear from you… I’m really busy right now… if you want you can call me back some other time… and you go no contact again and wait.
What To Do While You Wait…
In the meantime, you should not worry anymore about it. Go on with your life. Get on your purpose. Take the time to work on yourself (read my article how to become a better man after a break up), by getting into better shape, learning a new skill, starting a business, making new friends… and who knows while she is trying to figure it all out you might cross paths with another girl that takes your breath away and forget all about the one who broke up with you.